Thursday, April 29, 2010
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Well lets see, to start out with no one would read it. It would be about as dull as watching grass grow. The next one would have to be that i haven't done anything that would echo down the generations. I haven't started any wars, nor ended any. I have not contributed to the sciences or furthered world peace. I'm a nerd and who needs to here about them. I haven't done anything with my life. No one wants to hear about someone who got discharged from the army. No one has even read this blog. there i believe i made it with some extras.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Well right now i can't think of much, my mind is scrambling trying to process everything. I have an ex who is dating someone, says she loves me and yet wont dump him, she doesn't think it wise that we hang out and i still have feelings for her. i hate this i hate her and i love her. i want someone i can be intimite with and i can share my soul with. I don't think it's ever going to be possible, she was the only person i could share my soul with. i hate this, i feel like a failure all the time, nothing seems to work out and everyone thinks it's a simple fix. I'm shy around girls, people don't seem to understand this and they just say well go get a girl. i can't it's hard to talk to them and idk what to say. all i want is a relationship that i can trust, one that wont hurt me.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Margret grew up in Derry, she was born after the 1972 Bloody Sunday massacre. She is a catholic and a nationalist, she has a slender build and has the red hair of a goddess. She is kind in all things and is always there to lend a helping hand. She has seen many tragedies in her life, including the death of her Father, who was shot by a group of loyalist thugs. She has been a supporter of Sinn Fein ever since she could vote. She went to Trinity College in dublin and holds a degree ion Irish history. She teaches at one of the smaller universities in Ireland. She is single and waiting for the right man to come along, someone who shares her love of Irish history and would love her unconditionally.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
this is a perfect prompt for this week as i have had one of the worst weeks in a long time. To start off, i have woken up at 6 every morning, doesn't matter what time i go to sleep or anything. I have somehow lost my hat that i have worn just about every day for 3 years. Monday i forgot my work keys and had to drive all the way back home from school to get them, that took 50 minutes out of my day. I also forgot to pickup my dinner which ment i was stuck hungry at work for my shift. Tuesday again woke up at 6 still couldn't find my hat, and my car shutsoff as i'm driving on a round about, it's done it before and it has cost me a couple hundred to get it fixed. So i had to borrow my parents jeep. work was pretty boring, i got loads of papers to copy now. I then had to wait around wall mart for an hour for my dad to get off work so i could take him home. Today i still can't find my hat and i walked out of the house without my phone. I also have a friend who is supporting my Dr Who addiction by getting me the episodes of this season as they air; this week he has forgotten to bring them since monday. To top it all off, since Monday i have had a sense of Depression that i can't seem to fight off, i just feel like curling up and crying yet i can't seem to do it, i can't find anything to change it and my friends seem to have dissapeared as the depression set in and i am having trouble talking to people. I just want all the little things in my life to go away, they just seem to pile up and pile up. I'm also having to find a new job for the summer so i can make money this summer. I just wanna scream so bad!!!!!!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
hmmmm well lets see, i don't think i deserve anything really, sorry to dissapoint the world but i can't think of anything i have done in my life that warrants me to deserve something. I guess i can say what it is that i want out of life though. I want to be happy, i want to be able to study Irish history at my leasure and i want to live out in the woods somewhere. i would like to move to Ireland and live somewhere in the hills where i can look out on the valley and see how beautiful it all is. I want to have a beautiful woman by my side that supports me in all things i do and will never stop loving me. I want to be happy with myself and not feel ashamed that I was discharged from the military. I want people to respect me and not judge me when they find out that i was discharged. It seems funny how much one little thing can ruin your life and hurt your very core of being, but thats what being discharged has done. Friends have looked down upon me, and i have lost several. I try to look on the bright side and see that even though i have lost friends, i have gained new ones and new oppurtunities from the path that i am on now. Even with this, i still can only think of the failure in my life. It has almost become an obbsession, nothing i do seems to lift this failure from my shoulders and i feel the weight grow heavier as i move along and acquire more and more failures. sometimes it seems as if i will fall under the weight of everything but somehow i keep afloat.
Well it's been a while, i haven't been inclined to write. Not that anyone looks at this and reads it. Right now this is a way for me to vocalize my life. School is going alright, still have a 4.0 but it looks like it is going to change here and the end of the semester. i'm trying to think of things that are funny and engages people to actually read my blog. I guess it doesn't matter anyway, i'm not funny, well maybe in person but you would have to know me and understand the caliber of nerd i am.