Tuesday, April 20, 2010

writing prompt, i deserve a _______

hmmmm well lets see, i don't think i deserve anything really, sorry to dissapoint the world but i can't think of anything i have done in my life that warrants me to deserve something. I guess i can say what it is that i want out of life though. I want to be happy, i want to be able to study Irish history at my leasure and i want to live out in the woods somewhere. i would like to move to Ireland and live somewhere in the hills where i can look out on the valley and see how beautiful it all is. I want to have a beautiful woman by my side that supports me in all things i do and will never stop loving me. I want to be happy with myself and not feel ashamed that I was discharged from the military. I want people to respect me and not judge me when they find out that i was discharged. It seems funny how much one little thing can ruin your life and hurt your very core of being, but thats what being discharged has done. Friends have looked down upon me, and i have lost several. I try to look on the bright side and see that even though i have lost friends, i have gained new ones and new oppurtunities from the path that i am on now. Even with this, i still can only think of the failure in my life. It has almost become an obbsession, nothing i do seems to lift this failure from my shoulders and i feel the weight grow heavier as i move along and acquire more and more failures. sometimes it seems as if i will fall under the weight of everything but somehow i keep afloat.


  1. Josh - where is the writing? It has been over a month since you blogged! Get to it mister. If you look carefully here, at this post, you will discover a dream and a plan. Work toward it each and every day. Create a huge wall sized plan and go for it. As for letting the discharge ruin your life - that is your fault. You control how this impacts you, not the military, not others, only YOU. Make a choice. Choose to not let it control you. Being happy? Well, that's up to you as well. We make this choice. I chose about ten years ago to be happy and have not looked back since then. Ha! ~Kelly A.

  2. sorry, since school let out i haven't had a good connection to blog. I have also had something start comiing together in my life!