empty shell

i feel like an empty shell right now, it's been a rough few weeks and i'm tired. I've tried as usual to put on a mask and show the world that nothing is wrong, but the mask is heavy. It keeps getting harder and harder to hold it in place. Switching rooms helped it for a little while because it gave me a focus, but now the focus is gone and i have started thinkingabout life. It's hard dealing with women, the more i care for them the more they seem to walk away. I guess it's my fault but i don't know how to fix it. I'm nice, i act laid back most of the time and i'm pretty good at making them think i'm calm and collected. i just wish i knew what they were thinking, i'm a nice guy, so why is it i get the run around?